Mondays

well its monday, and im sore. People from dance annoy me. Im not really in the mood. My dance competition was yesterday and we ended up doing better than i expected. Hip Hop one first :) just as we suspected. I need a back massage. Im dying to go home early. I hope we cook something in cooking usually that wakes me up and puts me in a good mood. Thursdays early release. Im debating in between gym time or sleep time. haha i have an ultra/prom goal. Nothing really is a motivation anymore, all this stress for never being able to take it slow or relax really wears me out. i hope to find my self soon

alive

i can't sleep. im running out of things to do. im sick. its been a terrible day. I miss manny and how he's always there for me. My friend got arrested. i feel alone. empty. incomplete. confused. idk what to do. Are these one of those days that god throws at you? to prove to you how much you can actually take? im taking it okai. i haven't cried. I dont think i have many tears now a days. Nothing seems worth it anymore. Im interested then i lose interest. I want to feel as i have before once upon a time. My mind plays with my heart. They never agree. I want to be taught a dance by someone inspirational; like mia michaels. I want to run endlesly and not have this cold stop me half way down the block. I want to jump into the ocean and not be afraid of the creatures that live in it. I want to smile and mean it today.



i want to feel alive