Stress

A persons worst enemy. Stress can't make things better just worse, i didn't realize i was as stressed as i am. But the attitude i give off, the fact that i can't memorize anything anymore and my constant confusion. Didnt arise from one day to the next. I have kept my self busy to avoid the situation of speaking to krewd. But sadly it has now become my busy schedule plus krewd and manny and everything. i really dont know what to do, its one of those can't live with you can't live without you sort of ordeals. Friends? dont really feel like i got any. My cousins a mess and my sister is ... distant... I feel bad for manny really i do he considers me his everything and im sure i could too, i just need to lose him. Now i know you can't just ask someone to break up with you, and making the decision on your own doesn't have the same sentimental value. Im a little fucked up in the head right now... off to the gym

I will always love him
5 words i always said
but feared to believe


i want to let you go

Back to the future

Ive decided to stop writing about the past and write about the future. I am now in two teams. Coral Park illusion dancers and kick it up competition team for jazz production and hiphop. I am currently working on getting a higher gpa. Getting down to 120 lbs. Scoring atleast an 1150 on my SAT. And to be more sociable. I still have days that im weaker than others. but im learning to manage. A wise person once said "Once you start, you can't look back not even to give you momentum to keep going foward" now that wise person is unknown and im not even sure those were his exact words, But its close enough. My days have been going by quicker, and i am more pleased in everything i do. I can tell my dancing has improved. And i haven't spoken to krewd in almost 3 weeks even though it feels like more cause i didn't talk to him when i was in puerto rico or even a couple of days before that. Oh thats right i went to puerto rico this summer ! the trip was different i had my moments of fun... and my moments of wanting to swim back to florida just to get away from my family. But all in all it was a good experience to appreciate what i have, and it gave me time away from manny to realize how much he really is an importance to my life. When i got back me and manny were better than ever.. We rented a hotel on the 17th which would have been our 1 year of knowing each other and we rolled BFB (big fat balls) hahaha. I have never had such a great day in my life. It was like we were married and on vacation. We spent hours talking and singing along to songs. We went to the pool and got blown up by the magical sun. I fell in love with the cold plung. (for anyone that does not know what a cold plung is, its below 40 degrees farenheit, and normally i would turn and run the other way. But between the smell of the resteraunt the heat of the sun and the coldness of the water i had scencory over load, WHICH IS AWESOME! I reallly love him, some days more than others. Like when he offers me timb platter i HATE him =) lmfao ....... HMMMM lets see, I haven't seen ashley like in 3 weeks and me and caro are getting along really good, but only in school ofcourse besides that she really doesn't talk to me, which is okai. I have made a lot of new friends in a span of 2 weeks since school has been going on. I love all the girls from illusions, and i have talked to like 5 girls from kick it up that seem atleast a little nice. I however despise the whole garcia family. Ruth and raymond can both die and i swear it would not impact my day at all, unless maybe a smile on my behalf. Well i need to go study for my SAT . Bye!