First kiss

He came to my house. Me my sister miry and mario we're all watching speed racer. He sat next to me on the rocking chair. As i sat on the uncomfortable green chair, which had a terrible angle at the t.v Not like the movie was what i had in mind anyway so i didn't care. We spent most of the movie talking. And he noticed i liked to point my feet. He called them little bananas. I pretended like i didn't like the name. But deep inside i was happy he even noticed i did it .


He had to go. Cause i had school the next day. I knew it was time, to give him what he deserved. So i kissed him =)




And it felt great

He couldn't wait

waiting for another day would have been far to long. So what ended up happening was that he came to my house late at night. I still didn't kiss him though. It was funny cause it was tempting. But temptation killed adam and eve. Haha random i know . Anywhoooo We sat there and talked shit about everything. He must have noticed my love for dogs that day. Cause there were 2 strays that kept breaking my heart. I went inside and got them food. I even got them water. they were so nice. We stayed out so late sitting down on my drive way leaning up against the dirty taurus that Annabelle and made got home from clubbing at 5 in the morning. And we just welcomed them. He had to go though, not cause we were bored nor tired. But because my fiendishh cigarrete addicted father was soon to wake up

We held hands for the first time

His hands are warm <3

First date

We went to go watch death race.

I hadn't busted a mission to go out on a date i'd say since summer of going into my freshman year. Funny cause it never ended up working out that day anyways. But this day it did. Annabelle wanted to go clubbing and miry was suppose to, to. But she didn't feel like it thank god. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends back then. And why would raymond take me to see manny. And it was pretty much family or nothing. Miry decided to go with me !! go miry


The movie was good. I didn't kiss him. I knew it would keep him wanting it =)

School

school had been going good i guess you can say. I spent most of my day texting manny. i loved how we never ran out of conv. Me and krewd still talked. Nothing crazy though. he's really boring. Me and robert, going down hill.

The greatest friend request

So lalalalalala there i am checking my myspace. (regular activity) and i get a friend request from. HIM. i was surprised he had found me. Completely forgetting my status still said "i love manny he made my night" When i finally remembered i changed it in an instance. We started commenting. Then he imed me. Funny cause i never gave it to him. That stalker! straight jacked it from my about me. Its the reason i put it there i guess. But i just called him a creepo for the fun of it. =) We talked for over 12 hours on aim. Although i took a little break to go get lets with annabelle miry and pedro. I came back though. And while i was gone all i could do was mention him. I still have the lighter i bought that day. It was clear and purple.

I gave him my number around 12 cause he was such a slow stepper i never thought he would. And he texted me as soon as i signed off. He said good night and good luck at school


AHHH school i forgot it was tomorrow!

During the day

Well. It should not be a surprise that krewd comes back on the 17th . He actually had texted me that night saying he loved me. But caught in between the fun with manny. I disregarded it. The next morning however i was not as strong since people weren't around. He called me and told me he didn't want to spend an anniversary without me, cause it would only be tradition. Me having no plans i gave in. But later on that day robert called to chill. So i kicked out krewd at 9. Why let him stay any later its not like i wanted to chill with him anyways after everything.

So we went and capped annabelle robert and i. And then we met up with mario at my house. We toked up and just talked shit for an hour. Annabelle and mario went inside. While me and robert stayed out side talking. This was the day that changed everything for me and robert. I dont even know why i did it. Must have been for revenge on krewd. Maybe cause i actually wanted it...

The day that changed it all

August 16

i went to the beach. i was suppose to have hung out with robert at night. But i over slept and woke up at 10 when i woke up annabelle was getting ready for a getty. I asked her if i could come to. it was my last week before school started and i didn't want to be home. She said yes and my mom said i had to be back by 12:30

i left with her to the wack getty which we left not even 10 minutes of being there. We went to taco bell so annabelle could eat. And they were gonna go to a getty in cutler ridge. My mom wanted me home by 12:30 and it wouldn't happen with that distance. I called my mom and begged for her to let me go. I didn't even know if it would be good i just oddly wanted to go. She kept telling me no till i compromised i would not go clubbing till my next break. which was winter break. she finally agreed and i went.

August 17
The moment i walked in, i knew i already wanted to go hit a bowl. unfortunatly my dumb lighter was jammed. I stopped and contimplated what to do while i was introduced to the young fellow in the stripe shirt named Manny. He was so polite. So good spirited. Not knowing him i asked him for a lighter. He replied with an "i dont smoke" i thought to my self "woah"

i gave up on it. thought maybe its not a day to smoke. i kept thinking about brownies. The special kind. With the herbs and spices =) There were no brownies and no lighters so i thought. fuck it . i shall drink . i poored my self a cup of coke and black label. and nearly gagged since as ive said. im not a drinker. Manny comes back with a lighter looking exausted. Saying he found one. I found it funny that he actually tried since i never asked it of him. I said omg i love you! and as i was walking to the car i realized he was following. i gave him a look (the kind i give when im confused) he said he had to come with me cause his friend could not lose the lighter.) i knew it was just a poor excuse to keep talking to me.

I was hitting a bowl with miry and i offered to him. He rejected me kindly. I didn't persist more goodies for me. we kept giving it funny code names like. Micheal jordan and micheal jackson. Miry pointed out it was a full moon. idk why i still remember it till this day. I kept laughing at something. And miry looks at manny and says isn't she cute. and he looked at me and said yeah i noticed that a while ago. (something along those lines) i smiled but didn't let him see.

I went back into the getty and found my sister watching laura play beer pong in the corner. so i perched my self next to her. To my surprise manny came back to me. We sat and laughed and made fun of this girl name "the girl from busch gardens" she didn't seem like she was invited. she had no friends. she just kept making choreography to all the songs that came on. She actually kind of looked like she got lost in the tour of busch gardens and just magically landed in cutler ridge.

Manny left to go be DJ i looked at him from far. and he played fuck the otherside. i knew it was love at first sight from right then and there. He just through his hands up in the air. as i sang from far away. he didn't come back. it was okai cause i was leaving anyways. i was gonna leave like i always do without saying bye. but i felt like he diserved it. he had made my night. He was disapointed to see i was leaving. YET DIDNT ASK ME FOR MY NUMBER! so i left it at that


just an awesome guy that i met, made my day, but that i would never see again.
I however went on my space and made a status about him saying. I love manny he made my night.

normally i would never do such an outlandish thing. but frankly i found him ONE OF A KIND

I grew some balls

Krewd and i wake up . And i tell him i no longer wish to talk to him . That i could never forgive him for what he did. He does as i please and he leaves me alone

Great luck(sarcasm)

idk what in the world would posses krewd to have wanted to see me on this day. This day that i was finally going to meet the only guy i had considered giving a chance in over 5 months. He left me a text saying im going to your house and then i guess his phone had died cause he wouldn't pick up. i had no way to stop him . So i went to mirys house where he couldn't find me and i could meet robert.

So lalalalala i was sitting on my uncles pick up talking shit with him pointing at the stars. when i hear this voice from the bushes saying.

So this is why youve kept me waiting for him ? !


i nearly fell off the pick up when i heard that. i knew i was fucked alll i could ask is what are you doing here. he said he wanted to talk. and i said you could have done that a week ago when you disapeered. i bitched him out and told him to leave. and he said he was going to meet me at my house. he expected me to take an hour. i watched a whole movie lmfao!

i knew things were going to be good with robert. but i was afraid what would happen with krewd


we ended up talking when i got home. i even let his dumb ass sleep over because it was to late and i cared enough to not let him sleep on the street like he should have.

=)

I finally really started to like a guy. It was amazing. The first time in a really long time. I gave him my number and we talked for hours. till the point where i killed my phone and had to use my moms at my aunts house just to keep talking to him. We hadn't met. And although he didn't know me, i knew him. We got along great as friends. Talked about the randomest things. He always thought i was weird. And i always knew he liked it. He just was to manly to admit it.

Familiar Face

I went to go check my myspace a regular day event. And i see a friend request from a guy i always had a crush on from middle school. I had never talked to him though. He was just always my type. The bad kid who always faught and didn't give a fuck (wow its like im attracted to losers) Any whoo it made me smile. Krewd was no where to be found. And frankly i didn't give a fuck. He invited me to a getty he was having for his birthday. ofcourse i didn't go. What type of needy bitch would i have been if i did.

I have friends/Raymond

I realize i have friends. I never knew it before this day.

After that wedding things were rocky. they would be good. get bad be good get bad. I hadn't seen him since that day. And i was suppose to see him on that saturday. I was super excited cause he was gonna spend a weekend with me. Not at a wedding, but just us together. I called him while i was at SAT classes. He picked up at 10 but then just hung up. I found it odd. Blamed it on how he was just half asleep. I kept sending him texts saying. "Hey im by your house do you want me to pick you up so you dont have to find a ride?" I kept calling him and calling. and texting and leaving voice mails. but he wouldn't answer. its odd since the slightest noise always woke him up. It was 5 already in the afternoon still not a sign of him. It hurt me that he would once again sell me out. Especially when i had my hopes so high.


Its sad how i've failed to mention raymond till now. But he was a big part of my life since february. He always picked me up when i was on the floor crying, starving, hopeless, depressed. You name it raymond was there.

and once again he was there for me again. That night i was left w.o plans. And he dropped all of his to come be with me. I even remember he was at sunset with his friends and he just left. Ashley had plans but out of no where instead came to be with me at my house. Adis even came that faggot lol ! At 10 caro came too after work. I went from feeling alone and helpless to realizing hey. Maybe i do have other friends. Maybe krewd isn't the most important thing. Maybe just maybe i can do it this time. We got ice cream at cold stone. How i loved coldstone. Raymond held my hand in the car. And it felt great. Great to know i was loved.