Im pathetic

So even though ive got these calls i still keep calling. Funny huh. He finally comes to answer me the next day at. 12 in the after noon. I had a wedding that night which he was suppose to attend with me. He said he was still coming and that, who ever called me was lying and not to believe them. It was great to hear those words that everything that prank caller said was a lie. i didn't even hesitate to believe him. The wedding after party was at the same place his homecoming was. we spoke for hours, he said he missed me. As did i. I dont even know why it was always so easy to put all the tears in the back of my mind like it never happend.

I love you miry

Days are hard. some more than others. I can tell im disnutritioned. I dont take pictures anymore. My interest for guys has left the planet. I only have one thing in mind. Someone who would put a random person he just met that day before me. Yet he's all that matters. All that makes me wake for the next day. Im couting. ONLY ONE MORE DAY TILL I SEE HIM. He isn't picking up my calls this day. Its making me anxious. But i feel like he wont sell out on me. So i just let it go.

i get a call that night while im in the car. It was me annabelle and mariel. driving down miracle mile. Its an UNKNOWN number my favorite! so i pick up ready to eat shit. But its not a regular funny prank caller. Its somebody saying that there krewds homegirl and that he isn't going to pick up my calls. because he thinks im a psycho bitch and he already has a girlfriend. So to just leave him alone. And when i ask so why doesn't he have the balls to tell me himself. they respond with. because he doesn't want you to slit your wrist and beg for him back.


This just sounds to believable. And all i can do is cry and cry and cry and cry. And somehow the tears just dont stop pooring out. We go to pick up miry. Who was stood up by armando. And all she can do is cry too.


::Miry till this day you probably wont know how much that day meant to me. But you were there for me even though we probably didn't even speak. i knew i wasn't alone. And i want you to know you will never be either. as long as im alive. and i love you::

Another 24

So to my suprise i barely hear from him. I haven't seen him since the 17. He leaves to orlando or so that was the last thing i heard from him. All the days hes been gone ive been home. he always liked it best when i stayed home. So for his hapiness i always did. I didn't have many friends. Since all of mine were drug abusers. And my sister didn't ever want me around cause i was a burden. One night they finally decide to invite me to matador to hear our friend eddy DJ and to get free drinks.( Im not much of a drinker though so i stay sober.) Krewd finally calls me that day and i tell him my plans and he says i wanted to chill with you today. Im caught between wanting to see him and wanting to be with my cousins. So i tell him that he has made me wait this long that he could wait one more day, cause i dont want to sell out. He however gets offended and clicks. Cause its what he does best. And when i call him that night when i get home. Mind you im LETSBAGETS. He just flat out tells me. its over. Haha and not only does he break up with me on the phone he turns off his phone. So there i am torn into pieces. Super lets and feeling like my heart stopped beating and all i can do is cry and call his voice mail to leave him messages in regards to what i feel. He didn't care. He finally comes to call me an hour later and tell me i'll see you this saturday. Hopeful me i go to sleep with a smile thinking i have hope all over again.

The next weeks

id love to say i gave up on him. But sadly it wouldn't be in my nature. i continued to work for our relationship. And sneak him into my house when nobody was home just to see him. Cause i knew he wouldn't give his weekends to be with me anymore. We finally started getting things on track it started to look bright happier. We were happier. He asked me out on our 1 year an 10 months. In Miami childrens hospital . We went to dolphin that night and hung out with my friends. i knew his cousins from new york were coming down however and we were soon to distance a bit. It was okai to me though cause as long as we were official i knew he wouldn't be going anywhere.