Thanksgiving

It had been a week since i had seen him. Things were going great with manny. We discovered that we were both not the people that the other one thought. it was a great sigh of relief, it really did put things in perspective.

Thanksgiving is today. And krewd wants to say hi since its thanksgiving. It being me ofcourse i let him come over. I could tell my mom was already beggining to turn anti krewd by this time. She didn't even say hi, nor let him come in. I went to my cousins house to have dinner with the family. I left to go to mannys families house. There miry annabelle and made all had a serious conv. about "what i need to do". I either have to choose manny or krewd.


Now this choosing word always angered me. maybe i dont want to choose. Maybe its a little hard to choose between your bestfriend, that you dont feel that strongly for. Or The guy you love but you will never see the same ever again. It always sucked the fact that i always wanted him. when he wasn't mine. But i knew what had to be done and i didn't talk to him for a while..

The end

I gave him one week but i just couldn't do it. It felt over whelming a burdun even. So i did as he always did best. I broke up with him through a text. Ofcourse he called me right after. Giving me the dramaticness that he always does. But i was done. From this day foward. Me and manny would get closer. I could tell

His birthday

I know its his birthday but i just can't. I gather his gifts, and i head for the door. I know he loves jelly doughnuts so i stop at dunkin doughnuts and buy him a batch. I go to have dinner with him at his job. But he had already ate. It only occurs to him to do such stupidity. This can't wait one more day. One more day and i might as well just throw my self off a building. I tell him that nobody knows that were together, cause deep down in side i haven't felt like we've been together since february. He has nothing to say but that i ruined his 18th birthday. And as much as i wanted to care i couldn't. He ruined my life for 9 months and never cared. So why should i now.


Some how he always gets his way. I got back with him.

Seizures

I can't keep doing this. All this stress. and lack of sleep is only leading me to depression and insanity. I had 2 seizures while sleeping. It actually made me feel okai to think i might die. I consider my self an awful person. Not because i wish bad on others. But cause i always want to come off as the good one. All i know is one thing. I can't keep doing this. Manny wants answers as to why im being so cold. And krewd wants to know why im not being myself.