Halloween

Im suppose to spend the day with krewd -_- how very unfortunate but i rather spend it with manny. So i divide my time equally. I chilled with krewd and it was so boring i called up fons to toke up with. When i got back home and he was waiting for his ride. Manny showed up. I thought it would be the day i would officially be caught. Krewd saw the silver taurus. and there was no denying it. I knew time was coming and i had to decide. ever since that 17th though. being with krewd seemed forced. Yet being with manny was making me feel uncomfortable.

My weekend

i had alot of fun on this weekend. Spent alot of time with manny. Laughed got super lets and i haven't talked to krewd in 2 days. =)

Going to howl o scream

Another 17. surprising how things always land on this day. I want to remove it from the calender i swear.

Me and krewd were at my house talking. And he wanted to show me some drawings he had done on his myspace. They were to little to see detail. So i clicked on them to see them bigger. It led me to his photobucket. And the first picture that pops out is one of cindy in a towl. She looks like she is at a hotel. And the date reads August 2. My face went black. My hands turned into fist. i dont even think i spoke for a minute. I was in shock i knew this day was the day he picked up and hung up at 10. I also remember his status was "at the fountain blu" that day. How do i remember any of these things till this day. im not quite sure. My memory could be a curse. or maybe just a blessing. Depending on how you look at it.

It sucks he had to ruin this day for me, with out even trying. The day i was leaving on the trip i had been planning for a month now. I was happy to atleast spend a week with manny. My bestfriend already at this time. I couldnt talk about what was wrong with me though. It was to hard. And between all the lies i had already conjoured up for myself in the process. Things were getting hard. I looked like i had stuff on my mind 24/7. I probably wasn't even that fun to be around. I told manny how ever. Im not sure he gave advice just listened and told me to forget about it

Nosy me

Ive had krewd for a friend on myspace for a week now. And ive stopped my self from reading his comments. But today it seems like i must. I put my detective hat on. And im off. I go all the way back to july/august when he treated me like shit, to atleast have an idea why. Nothing seems to pop out. But some girl said on august 8 it was nice seeing you we should do it again. She isn't pretty so i try not to pay mind to it. But when i click her myspace. Cindy ferrey is number one on her top. Now me... Im not an idiot... i might be in love but im not stupid. I put 2 and 2 together and i go to my aim logger. I remember that on august 7 i was talking to sunny bricks about krewds status and how it said horney. It boiled my blood that day. ANd it started boiling all over again today. I knew he had seen her. Even though he said he never would. Funny thing is when i got back with him on the 3rd. He told me he had nothing to tell me. Yet i poured my heart out about things i hadn't told him.


I told him i had read his comments and to not even waste his time lying to me. All the idiot had to say was. "How dare you read my comments!" Its funny how you always know you have caught them when they try to change the subject. He said he saw her on the 7th at bird bowl but nothing big they barely even talked. And he didn't tell me cause he thought i wouldn't believe him. Krewd and his stupid theories. Him telling me would make me trust him more. But no he never saw things like that. I chose to believe him. I just knew there was more and i was going to find out.... i always do.

A big mistake

I said yes. It was my danceshow. And i dont know why i finally thought i was ready. Annabelle was having a birthday getty at mannys house which i should have been at. But i didn't feel like it.

It didn't even feel like we were together. The moment i said yes, that same day we already argued. It finally occured to me that the only reason we hadn't faught in new york was cause i didn't have my cell phone. And just that day. The first time i had seen him since we got back from the trip. We were already going down hill.